Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth
The author of parenting beyond your capacity used the scripture Deuteronomy 6 to lay out a lot of the values we reading his book. For this chapter he mentions a specific part of the scripture. "These commands I give you today are to be upon your hearts."
The author states, "the most important thing that happens as a result of reading this book may not be what happens in the lives of your children but what happens in your life."
Before you can leave your family spiritually, you need delete yourself. “When it comes to character and faith your kids are watching you in a way they might not watch you in other pursuits because it so personal you can't do faith and character for your kids there's another factor at work. If it's not in you they know it. When it comes to spiritual and character formation, your journey impacts them deeply. If you want it to be in them, it needs to be in you.”
Whatever you want your children to become, you should honestly strive to become as well.
If you want them to make church a priority, then you should go.
If you want them to respect leaders, then watch your attitude.
If you want them to admit their mistakes, then say you're sorry.
If you want them to work hard, then being involved volunteer.
If you want them to be generous, then give freely yourself.
If you want them to pursue God, then get alone with God.
If you want them to be honest, then treat others with integrity.
5 ways to make it personal
1. Spiritual deposits
The more time we spend reflecting, praying, preparing, and even resting, the better fathers, husbands, mothers, wives, leaders, and friends we become. Take some time doing some spiritual cross-training. Try different disciplines and change it up. This year I have a goal to practice a new spiritual discipline each month. Read Celebration of Discipline, there are about 12 disciplines listed in the book.
2. relational deposits
-Be strategic about friendships
-Find a community of parents
-Date your spouse
3. Starting now
Our schedules fill up quick, put time with God on your calendar. Put meal times on your calendar. What rhythm will you create to incorporate these changes?
4. Make it personal
We all have 24 hours a day. You decide when you will incorporate these changes. What works for me, may not work for you.
5. Time to stop
Decide what you need to stop to make leading your family a priority. You may have to stop doing a few things so you can start focusing on what’s most likely to lead you into a deeper place spiritually.
Read Deuteronomy 6: 4-6
Reflect: how would the way you spend your time look different if you took these verses to heart ? Why is the health and growth of your personal relationship with God important to your children? If you were to summarize this passage for your kids, what would you say?